by Mike McHugh
I’ve been thinking lately that I should be writing more pieces about what’s going on in the news. You always hear about how the American public isn’t well enough informed on current events, and that is not good for the efficient functioning of a democratic society. It’s as if the extent of most people’s reading is what they get from bumper stickers and tee-shirts, especially those worn by well-endowed women. Now there’s a thought—if we want a more informed public, just print the news on Hooters girls’ tee shirts. Do that, and every straight male in America would be totally up on situation in Syria. That might be happening soon, as I’ll get to in a minute. But in the meantime, I figured I’d fill the gap by providing some commentary in this space.
Which brings me to the first news item of the week. It’s reported that the Hooters restaurant chain is facing what they are calling a mid-life crisis. After thirty-odd years in the business, sales, if nothing else, have been flat. So they are launching a campaign to update their image. They’re planning to change their food offerings by adding salads to the menu and using fresh chicken wings instead of frozen. I’m not sure that many of Hooters’ patrons are going there for the food quality, but, okay, these things can’t hurt. They also want to (gasp!) change the servers’ uniforms. I’m not sure why they feel they need to do that. It’s not like McDonald’s is considering putting Ronald McDonald in hot pants or anything. On the other hand, if the change is to put the New York Times on their tee shirts, then they might end up doing a great public service, as I mentioned.
On a similar note, I read about a barbershop somewhere in Australia that is completely staffed by topless females. Some customers come in from 800 miles away to get a shave. If they had a place like that in Texas, what are the odds that the members of ZZ Top would be sporting a new look?
Well, that’s it for what’s been going on in the world last week. We’ll see what the coming week has in store.