M-aarrghhh-y Christmas!

by Mike McHugh

“Mike, I need a big favor from you.” I heard Fluffy’s voice from behind as I was walking to the back of the ballroom where the bar was.

“It better be important,” I answered.  “Can’t you see my flagon is empty?”

“It is. I need you to get my wife off of that stage.”

I turned my attention to the dance floor.  It was right then and there that I realized something serious was about to go down.

I saw not only Fluffy’s wife, Jeannice, but also Melinda, Michelle, and a host of other wenches (my wife included!) preparing to board the bandstand.  But that’s the way we roll at The Buccaneers’ of Lake Charles Annual Christmas Ball and Plundering.  If there isn’t a frigate, a galleon, or better yet, a pontoon boat laden with full ice chests handy for sacking, then the bandstand will do just fine.

“Is that a dagger she’s waving at the bass player? “ I asked.

“We need to take quick, decisive, action!” Fluffy demanded.  “She’s dragging the family name through the bilge!”

“It’s much too late for that, Fluffy,” I said.  “Besides, maybe she’s just making a request.”

“Jeannice doesn’t request,” he said flatly.

Recognizing that this was a no-win situation, and me being kind of partial to winning, I declined to get involved.

So instead, I sauntered up to the stage and ran off this video.  Yes, it was ugly, but not any more so than your average episode of Fear Factor.

All I want to know is, what are Frank and Perry doing up there?  Since they’ve become widowers, they think they can just have their way with our wenches.

On reflection, they’ve always thought that.

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