If You Could Talk To The Cannibals

A friend of mine has a son who’d expressed an interest in going to Africa to visit a tribe of real-life cannibals.  “Why would he want to do that?” I asked her.

“He has an academic interest,” she answered.  “He’s an aspiring writer, and he might want to write a book about them.”

“That’s nice.” I told her, “I mean, why not?  I’m sure they have books about us, complete with passages such as, ‘bake at 350 for two and a half hours.’ “

“Oh, no,” she said.  “You’ve got it all wrong. They don’t actually practice cannibalism anymore, so there’s no danger.”

“How do you know that?” I asked.

“Well, their government passed a law making it illegal for them to eat humans.”

So then, it seems that the New York City Council is not alone in passing legislation in an attempt to control its citizens’ dietary habits.

“How can he be sure that they’re law-abiding cannibals?” I asked.

“Because, if they violate the law against eating humans, the government will cut off their food stamps.”

“Well, that sounds like an effective enforcement mechanism.” I told her.  “Let me just make one suggestion if he ends up going.”

“What’s that?”

I answered her, “If they invite him into the hot tub, and there are onions and carrots floating around in there, tell him that he should politely decline.”

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