Here’s wishing a happy Fourth of July to all my fellow Americans.  I know that many of you are kind of down because it falls on a Wednesday this year, right smack in the middle of the week, and the Scrooges at most companies can’t find it in themselves to grant a five-day weekend.  But look at it this way; you’re enjoying a mini-weekend, and that’s cause to celebrate.

I have already celebrated the Red, White, and Blue myself.  This is how:

RED:  I tripped over the cat while walking up the stairs with a glass of merlot and spilled it all over the carpet.

WHITE:  My knuckles went pale as I scrubbed it out with club soda as my wife watched over me.

BLUE:  Working on turning myself that color by polishing off a bottle of tequila that I fondly call the Fifth of July.

So, my fellow Americans, I encourage you all to celebrate our nation’s birthday in your own way.  Just don’t garnish my drink with a lit firecracker.