Here’s wishing a happy Fourth of July to all my fellow Americans. I know that many of you are kind of down because it falls on a Wednesday this year, right smack in the middle of the week, and the Scrooges at most companies can’t find it in themselves to grant a five-day weekend. But look at it this way; you’re enjoying a mini-weekend, and that’s cause to celebrate.
I have already celebrated the Red, White, and Blue myself. This is how:
RED: I tripped over the cat while walking up the stairs with a glass of merlot and spilled it all over the carpet.
WHITE: My knuckles went pale as I scrubbed it out with club soda as my wife watched over me.
BLUE: Working on turning myself that color by polishing off a bottle of tequila that I fondly call the Fifth of July.
So, my fellow Americans, I encourage you all to celebrate our nation’s birthday in your own way. Just don’t garnish my drink with a lit firecracker.